Tiger Mothers

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html

Oh my word.  If you're in the mood for what I found to be a disturbing read, check out the above link.  It's about the difference between Chinese parents, or "Tiger Mothers," and Western parents.  I clicked on the link because I was thinking, "Heck yes, I'll be a tiger mother.  I will tear up any person who even looks at my babyson wrong."  I had the wrong definition in mind, and when I figured out what a tiger mother really was, I was floored.  The idea of anyone treating a child like this is terrifying to me, whether that child becomes wildly successful or not.

The author basically talks about how Chinese parents aren't afraid to deride and humiliate their children if they don't succeed, and that the kids owe their parents everything and must spend their lives pleasing them.  She also said that Chinese parents aren't concerned about their kids' self-esteem.  She said that one time her father called her "garbage," and that it spurred her to succeed, and she has used the same insult with her little girl.

Wow, it made me sad, I guess because I think about the way I'm structured.  My "love language" is words of affirmation, meaning that I thrive on positive feedback and have my feelings extremely hurt when anyone has anything negative to say about me (and they don't very often - haha).  Of course I will encourage Milo to be his best, especially in school.  Of course I will teach him not to quit, even when things are hard.  But am I going to call him stupid or make him practice 3, 4, 5 hours a day at something in order to do well?  ABSOLUTELY NOT.  Because, first and foremost, kids need to be kids.  The world is so full of responsibility and headaches and work that they should enjoy just being first, right?  Responsibility can come a little bit at a time as they grow, but for goodness sake, I want my baby to have fun and play.  That's what being a kid is all about.

I'm curious to know what you think about this article, so if you have a few minutes, please read it and let me know.  Maybe I'm just extra-sensitive since I'm a new mommy and still have enough hormones surging to make me cry through the first five minutes (and honestly, the entire episode) of Extreme Home Makeover every week.  But that's another story, for another day.