Just sit

Milo couldn't/wouldn't sleep last night.  He had a really hard time laying down for bedtime (probably because it was way too late when we put him down - we just can't stop holding him sometimes).  And when I woke him up for his 3:00 a.m. feeding (yes, I seriously have to wake the child up to eat), we had some issues.  It could have been the Taco Bell, or the vanilla ice cream, that I treated myself to.  I guess I know now to avoid both, because my poor baby couldn't stop spitting up.  And spitting up doesn't even quite describe the rivers that flowed from his little mouth, seemingly without end.  I couldn't make it stop, and I couldn't keep up with his little outfits (yes, we went through 3). 

After I finally finished feeding him, changing his diaper, and changing his outfits (what a diva - I'm guessing he just didn't like what I put on him the first 2 times), I laid him down in his bassinet, only to notice that he was wide awake.  I guess after two diaper changes and three wardrobe switches anyone would be wide awake.  Lord knows I was.  In fact, while he laid there awhile, I headed to the other room to iron some clothes for Nate.  Everything was quiet, and I assumed that our babyson was asleep.  And then he started howling. 

I gave it a few minutes, because I know that sometimes babies just cry.  But it quickly became apparent that the howling was in no way going to stop, and that Nate was definitely going to awaken any second (and he actually has to work these days).  I scooped poor Milo up, saying, "Why won't you sleep?"  Then I realized that he had wet through his little sleeper, his swaddling blanket, and the blanket that he was lying on top of.  (sigh)  I couldn't be upset - I wouldn't want to lie in my own pee-pee, either (and boy did I feel like a jerk for that moment of frustration).

So it was back to the changing table, and a new onesie, and then a new river of spit-up to wet the onesie.  Seriously?  That was it.  I pulled that onesie off, dried him off, and wrapped him in another blanket, and we headed to the recliner to pray and brainstorm what the best mommy-thing to do would be.  At that point, I could have fed him again - it was 2 1/2 hours after his first feeding, and he had spit most of his first meal up.  I could have tried to lay him down again, just in case he was now as exhausted as I.  Instead, I came up with this brilliant plan.  Just sit.

You see, I don't just sit very often.  I'm somewhat of a busy person, and I'm a major problem-solver, and how is sitting ever the solution to a problem?  But something inside of me told me to go ahead.  So I snuggled Milo up over my shoulder, and we just sat, looking at each other, both of us feeling pretty content.  Every ounce of frustration in me melted away as my precious baby gazed up at me and said, "Thanks for cuddling me, Mommy.  I needed that," with his eyes.  And after a little while, he fell asleep, and instead of bustling back to my room to lay him down, I continued to rock and breathe in his beautiful scent. 

So I'm learning that part of being a Mommy is learning to pray for wisdom and be willing to wait on it.  And it isn't about rushing from here to there, adhering to the strictest of schedules, and looking ahead to what may come.  It's about slowing down, enjoying every moment, and sometimes just sitting.