Trust

Whenever I have a hard time with something, I tend to approach it rationally, or as rationally as an overly sensitive woman can. And here's my confession. I've been struggling with trust. Not even in one particular situation, but all the way around. So, for the sake of explanation, I looked it up in the dictionary to see what I'm dealing with. Interesting...

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence
2. confident expectation of something; hope

Everywhere I looked, the word had something to do with confidence or belief. And no matter where I looked, it didn't tell me how to build trust in something or someone. How do you put into words something that you just do (or not)without thinking?

When I was a girl, I trusted my daddy implicitly. I never had to question whether he'd be there for me, whether he'd support me, whether or not he'd let me down (because he wouldn't). I could trust that every time I had a bad dream, he'd be awake and in his recliner, ready to scoop me up and soothe my troubles with giant hugs and White Sox baseball. He was the underlying strength behind everything I did, everything I believed in. I was confident in myself because I could be completely confident in him. So I know what it is to trust without question.

What happens when we grow up? Why do we stop being so good at trusting, especially in our Daddy God? Where does that confidence, that expectation of good, go? And I'm not getting on to you. I've been asking myself the same questions, because the last time I checked, the Bible tells me that "those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." (Psalm 9:10) Am I being too logical if I ask, if God has never forsaken anyone in all of history, why would he start with me? Or you, for that matter?

I am commanded to trust God - it's not an option. Something in which I take confidence is that when God gives a command, it's never just to give a command. It's always for my protection. When I give everything over to God, I admit that I can't fix things on my own, that there are, in fact, situations that are too big for me (Superwoman that I think I am). I'm working hard on talking myself into trusting, and filling my mind with what God has said is working on my soul and spirit as well. Given the choice between peace and panic attacks, I'm finding it a little easier to understand the importance of trust.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. (Proverbs 3:5-6, The Message)