America's Most Stressful Videos

I've never been a fan of America's Funniest Videos.  Even from the time I was a child, I could never stand to watch for one main reason - there's nothing funny to me about people getting hurt (which seems, to me, to be the main theme of the show).  Keep in mind, I was the child in the nursery who cried when the other kids did, just because it hurt my feelings that they were so upset (sensitive much?).  So there's never been anything funny to me about people falling down stairs, out of hammocks, through windows...  running into chairs, poles, other people... brides' hair catching on fire, people passing out, children knocking each other down...  You get my point, right?

And here's where Nathan and I differ.  He loves the show.  In fact, we TiVo it so he doesn't miss an episode, and he usually watches multiple shows in one sitting.  There's little on there that bugs him, whether people are hurting themselves or not.  His favorite videos, however, aren't the falling ones, or the pet antics (which even I find tolerable).  He loves the videos when people get scared (bonus laughs if any man screams like a girl in the process).  And I can always tell when he's been watching it quite a bit because he thinks it's really funny to try to scare me (possibly because I make jazz hands when I'm frightened).  For example, last night when I was shampooing my hair in the shower, deep in thought, eyes closed, and suddenly felt a hand on my back.  I probably don't need to tell you how startled I was, how loudly I shrieked, or the fact that it's a miracle I didn't land flat on my back... 

All that to say, it used to drive me crazy that Nate would watch AFV.  I mean, how could he, when I despise it so intensely?  And then I started to listen to him watch it from the other room, and I realized that I was laughing just as hard at him getting a kick out of it as he was laughing watching it.  And then I started sitting next to him while he watched it, and reading a book, or playing a game on my phone.  It was even funnier to listen to him crack up in close proximity.  And then I started actually watching it with him, just to see what made him laugh the hardest.  And I have to tell you, I still don't love AFV, but there's nothing that makes me happier than listening to Nate laugh - it's completely contagious, and one of the first things that I fell in love with when we met. So anything that tickles him that much has to be at least okay with me.

Besides, to add to the hilarity, we both sat around watching it last night in our best white trash tee shirts with the sleeves cut off.  Bet you'd pay a lot of money for a photo of that, right?  Keep in mind, I'll deny it ever happened right after this...

Now that's much better

Things I'm excited about today:

The fact that I watched a light turn on in multiple kids' heads today, and heard them say, "Ohhhhh, I get it now.  That's so easy!"  I feel like I've won the lottery every time one of my kids finally understands something he/she's never gotten before.  Who'd have guessed direct and indirect objects could turn out so well?

Multiple students came in after school today to finish essays they've been writing for class.  Now, keep in mind, they're worth a test grade, so that's good motivation.  But still... after school?  And one of them was the kid another teacher told me is impossible to motivate, and here he is, writing away.  I'm impressed!

I haven't puked a bit today, and I actually feel energetic, and I was able to cover most of the polka dots on my face, so I look somewhat normal, even with my hair up (yes, I hid behind a giant mass of curls yesterday).

After work, Nate and I are going shopping for a needy student, and we get to buy her things her family wouldn't be able to get otherwise.  And we get to pick anything we want because she's not particular.  AWESOME.

I'm trying a new recipe tonight, and cooking new things always makes me smile.  Tonight we're trying chicken (for Nate), with a potato and sweet corn saute. Sounds fun, doesn't it?  Something about the word saute is somewhat exciting...

And the most exciting of all?  At the end of the day, I get to curl up on the couch with the most wonderful man alive and take a big, fat nap.  I know I whined yesterday, but I feel pretty darn lucky.

A not-so-happy hump day

Well, let the record show that I have a pink polka-dot face today.  And no, it's not for decoration.

Just when I thought the puking was under control, I spent last night and this morning throwing up so hard that I broke what seems like every blood vessel in my face.  So, where I used to just have pink spots around the bottom of my eyes, they now cover my eyelids, my cheeks, and some spots on my neck. I guess when I do something, I do it full force.  Literally.

This little Milo is definitely going to be worth it, but let's just say pregnancy doesn't look so grand on me. 

A Project Completed

It's the end of a long day of work.  I've listened to countless hours of student whining and tried frantically to stay on top of the lesson plans, materials, extracurricular activities, and information I'm responsible for all day long.  I should be using my last few minutes to do something productive - like run a million copies while there's no line at the copy machine.  But instead, I have to tell you my important and fabulous news.

Milo's room is looking amazing. My poor, sweet husband worked his butt off all weekend fixing the closet, painting, hanging shelves, and laying flooring, even taking a break for us to drive to Houston and back on Saturday on an Ann-retrieval mission (and an extra-yummy meal at Genghis Grill).  He worked tirelessly, and at times until the wee hours of the morning, all the while refusing to let me lift a finger to paint or do anything that would require me to exert myself.  This hot man earned himself some serious good-husband points. 

What did I do?  Well, I encouraged...  I watched...  I took photos to document the important chain of events...  I planned a meal list and went grocery shopping...  I organized the disaster that my closet threw up when we combined spaces...  I cleaned out the hall closet, and tried to make sense of everything that came out of Milo's room (formerly known as the office/junk room)...  I had a pregnant emotional breakdown when I thought things wouldn't be finished and later had to apologize...  Everyone involved had a grand time. 

And here is just a taste of what we accomplished.  Keep in mind, we're still waiting on decor, vintage planes, trains, and automobiles, but the framework of our little peanut's room is finished. 

Here's a shot of the gorgeous glider that my friend Marcy gave me - goes with the vintagey look we're going for in the room.

The room used to have pee and poo-smoothie stained carpet (remember our friend Berkley?) and ugly cream walls.  Now we have kid-friendly Grover-blue and vintage green.

Happy Labor Day

If being pregnant has taught me one thing, it's this.
I used to be TINY!
Did I ever complain about being fat?  Did I ever compare myself to someone smaller and feel irate?
After I have this peanut, I'm going to appreciate the small size that I will eventually again become.  But in the meantime, here's me in my preggie picture pose.

And by the way...  We are now registered at Target!  Talk about fun.  They handed Nate and I a price gun and a gift bag of goodies, and we scanned our little hearts out.  Now I really can't wait for Milo to get here!

The Great Closet Excavation

Well, this shall therefore be called "A Weekend of Milo."  We are laboring for the next few days over our baby boy, preparing the nursery for his December arrival.  And I can't wait!  Especially since my job seems to be to watch everyone else do the work.

We did, however, celebrate a milestone yesterday, after hours of hard work by Nate and his brother Chad.  We now have, for the first time ever in our married life, a joint closet.  Which means that for the last five and a half blissful years, I have kept a walk-in closet to myself, while my poor baby had to walk to the former office closet (now Milo's room), to get his clothes every morning.  Justice has been served.

I found quite a variety of lovely things as I cleaned out my closet.  First of all, I discovered that a lot of my regular clothes that I was positive I could wear through the pregnancy no longer fit over my giant rack.  Nate loves it; I can't wait to be back to clementine-size.

Second, I realized that, along with the "Michael Jackson pants" (Nate's phrase) I gave to Goodwill a few years ago (okay, and those were awesome pants - black, satin motorcycle pants with zippers up the front of the legs), I should also have added a few items:

1.  Red feather boa.  In fact, this went straight into the trash, because no one else should be tricked into the opportunity.  And honestly, I'll be so ashamed if I ever see a hooker or homeless person in those Michael Jackson pants, either...

2.  Black, studded belt.  Nate and I agreed that because I will be 30 next year, am about to be a mother, and have never been a biker, it might be time to let go of it.

3.  Floor-length, gold-stitched housecoat.  I have always thought I looked truly stunning in this.  Nate referred to me as "Carl" (a very proud African American man who would come to church in full tribal attire) every time I wore it.

4.  Light blue tulle Fairy Princess skirt.  I am neither a fairy nor a princess.  I considered hanging on to this for our "Peanut Festival," but then decided that something red, trashy, and satin would be much more appropriate.

5.  Approximately 17 pairs of men's tube socks, formerly worn to soccer practices over my shin guards along with a full face of makeup.  Should I play again next summer, I'm just going to splurge for the actual soccer socks.

As I cleaned, I realized that I've been hanging on to the remains of a wardrobe somewhat like a costume closet, the very thing for which I mocked a poor housewife on a touching episode of What Not to Wear.  It's time to be a grown-up and get ready for my little Peanut, coming soon to a Lufkin near you.  

At least we're in the downhill

Working a real job is cramping my style.
This summer I got used to sleeping until 10 every morning, and here I am, awake at 4 and up by 6.  I also got used to napping for at least an hour or two in the afternoon, and now I'm going non-stop from the time I get up until the time I get home from work and collapse on the couch like a zombie.  I even cooked dinner most nights during the summer, and now I'm nearly brought to tears when I think about having to do something else after I work, tutor, and make it home (last night Nate looked at me and said, "Baby, it's okay.  Let's just have Taco Bell for dinner" - it felt like a miracle). 

I wish I could think of something funny to tell you, but I'm just busy trying to wake myself up before our 2nd period fire drill today (I contemplated calling in to work over it).  Yesterday I was cranky and snippy in honor of Hump Day, and I'm already plotting over who could leave and get me a cherry coke later in the school day, because I can't leave - I didn't finish my copies or my grading yesterday afternoon.  AHHHHH!!!!

The good news?  I got some new maternity clothes from a friend, so now I have a pair of black maternity pants that actually stay up and am feeling almost cute today (if I could tame my disaster hair it would make life complete). 

But I'm still thinking, for the first time in my life, that a real job is cramping my style.  Pregnancy has made me more and more interested in becoming a professional bum.  Or a Jersey Housewife.  I think I could handle either one...