Take a leap

Oh. My. Word.
I woke up unemployed today, and I'm sure you can't imagine why.
Yesterday I quit my job. Seriously. Let me give you a moment to let that sink in...

Nate and I had always talked about how awesome it would be if I could stay home with Milo after he was born, and had even discussed the possibility of my not returning to work next school year. Nate had even mentioned before that he didn't think I should go back at all after he was born, and every time, I told him that I needed to at least finish out the school year.  And then Nate got really serious this week and told me, "Kate, you need to quit."

Now here's something you have to know about me. I've never kept it a secret that I pray about everything, and that I will do whatever I think God is asking me to. I guess I knew in my heart that staying home and raising his precious creation was what He had in mind, but normal, sane, rational people don't just quit their jobs. So I did something that I do best...

I fought him on it. I fought so hard to go back to work, even though nothing in me wanted to, simply because I felt obligated. I'm the kind of person who hates to let anyone down, and I knew that by not going back, I would be leaving people in a bind. I stayed up most of the night Tuesday thinking, praying, whatever else... And I knew what I had to do. It was the weirdest thing. I went to bed Tuesday night ready to go to work on Thursday, but by Wednesday morning my mind was made up. And if you've never heard from God, this is the only way I can explain it. You know that feeling in your gut that you can't get away from? When you know something is the right thing to do and you have to follow that instinct, even if no one else gets it? Well, that's it. That's what I couldn't get away from. That's what Nate had already felt and known beyond a shadow of a doubt. Why am I always the hard-headed one who understands last?

So I did one of the hardest, scariest things I've ever done. I quit my job. And then I spent most of the day bawling my eyes out. I couldn't even believe that I had made Nate the sole supporter of our family. It doesn't seem fair, but he's thrilled. I let some very special people down because I couldn't just listen to God and do what was in my heart (but thought was impossible) a while ago. I gave up a career that was safe and secure.

But today I woke up, looked at Milo, and knew that I had done the right thing. In the end, that's all that matters.

Here's to great big flying leaps of faith.