Man vs. Robot

This morning I was almost late for school.  And that makes no sense whatsoever, because things started out so well, so ahead of schedule.  I was back from my run a few minutes after 6 and feeling good.  And then, as I went into Berkley's room to let her outside, I encountered a monster.  Literally, and I don't mean my little puppy.  There on the floor, challenging me to a duel, was the biggest spider I've ever seen in real life.  Now, let me interrupt and pat myself on the back, because instead of screaming bloody murder until Nate stumbled in, I stepped on it with barely a thought.  After I had squished it, I picked it up to flush it down the toilet (just to be safe) and almost convinced myself I was actually picking up a small animal.  But I digress...

Sadly enough, though, it was all downhill from there.  Because while I was dealing with the beast, Berkley was peeing a giant puddle on the floor.  That one was my fault - I should have let her outside first!  But there's no explanation for the giant poo she left for me in the living room while I was in the shower, or the second puddle she made while smiling up at me and wagging her tail fifteen minutes later. 

Needless to say, all that clean-up put me slightly behind, and I was determined NOT to go to school with dreadful hair for the 4th day in a row.  And as I stewed and straightened my hair, I came to a startling conclusion. 

I don't want a dog.  WHAT???  Why have 3, then?  Well, let me finish.  I don't want a dog, I want a machine.  An adorable little machine that pees on schedule, plays when I want it to, and can be turned off at the end of the day.  Now wouldn't that be fantastic? 

Oh wait.  Then it would have no personality whatsoever.  It wouldn't come sit on my feet and whine when I cried, or chase me around the house with a towel in its mouth, or bark when someone knocks on a door on television.  It would be, quite frankly, pretty boring.

And aside from that, how could I expect anything to be perfect when I myself am not?  How many times have I entertained a pity party and peed on the metaphoric carpet?  How often do I let gossip and negative words leave poo piles for other people to clean up?  Thank goodness Nathan doesn't want a machine for a wife, because I've never fit in well in Stepford!

So I guess, in a way, Berkley was looking out for me this morning, just peeing and pooing to get me thinking.  Okay, maybe I shouldn't give her quite that much credit, but at least I learned something, right?  Every day's a lesson, as long as you're looking for it, and today I'm just going to be thankful for my three living, breathing, peeing, pooing, real-life dogs.