Sunday, May 1, 2011

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Lessons Learned the Hard Way:

1. It is literally physically impossible to sneak into your sleeping baby's room in flip-flops. You can't do it, so don't even try. Instead, if you feel the need to check on him while he dreams, learn to crawl commando-style across the floor. Otherwise, just back the heck up, protective mommy, and leave that baby alone.

2. Closely related to #1, don't even try to run on the treadmill right outside said baby's room while he naps. He will immediately awaken. Especially if you also turn the volume on the television up to level 60 so you can hear over the sound of your pounding feet...

3. It's so hard to say good-bye to yesterday. Especially when yesterday is a very glossy layer of deep ocean blue paint all throughout your bathroom. I spent quite a bit of time trying to cover up the damage Nate and I did when we moved in three years ago and got to the master bathroom last, not caring whether the paint covered all the way or was halfway across the ceiling. My new light shade of grey goose needed several coats to cover. Note to self: always choose flat finish from now on.

4. If you go to a store on the way to an event with the intent to buy a particular piece of clothing, that clothing will no longer be in stock. Either that, or it will be left only in either an extremely small or ridiculously large size, just to taunt you, and you will, in frustration, be forced to buy something else to make up for it.

5. Don't tell your husband that you don't mind not being with your mom and sisters on Mother's Day while he plans a trip to Houston, and then go back on it later. Either tell the truth the first time, or learn to carry on "the act" all the way through the show. You'll only spoil his trip and spend days feeling guilty yourself (sorry, Nate).

6. When disassembling a diaper cake with glittery decorations, take the time to shake out each diaper so that you don't end up with a little pair of sparkly disco balls every time you change your poor babyson. It's a good thing Milo is secure in his manhood at an early age, right?

And finally, 7. When taking "adorable naked photos" of your son on his tummy, for goodness sake, take the shot from the front, not the back... Otherwise you may wind up sending your husband "the cutest little picture ever" and later realize his little balls are showing (only after he's shown several co-workers, though...)

Hope today's the start of a wonderful week for you!

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