I dropped Nate off for work this morning so Milo and I could have the car. We have a very important patient who needs some loving - my precious sister Sarah is on bed rest. The plan is to take her some books, cookies, and lots of love. I think we've got it handled.
All that aside, though, I was sitting at a four-way stop, looking at the sun shining through the trees, listening to my babyson coo in the back seat, and I had this startling revelation. I love my life. Oh my gosh, I love my life. When was the last time that I could truly say that? Not that I haven't loved portions of my life. I've been so satisfied in areas, but not in others. But at this very moment, I can tell you that every single thing is working together for my good. Wow!
I have spent my entire life with the notion that working would be the only thing to make me completely fulfilled. Imagine my nerves when I considered staying home instead. But I haven't been left with an unfillable void. Instead, being at home has given me the time to do two things I love: take care of Milo and take care of other people. I'm not too busy for everyone else, and I'm not so consumed with what I have to do that I can't think of anything but work. I can devour a book, plan an amazing dinner, work out with my friends, go for a run in the morning without worrying about the fact that I'll have to be up from then until at least 11 pm... I even have time for a nap every now and then. Now that's what I'm talking about.
And don't even get me started on my amazing husband. How many women have a man who will literally say, "You need to stay home. I want to provide for you. You just concern yourself with what God is telling you to do, and I'll take care of the rest." I'm seriously humbled to tears every time I think of this sensitive, caring, wonderful man and the way that he loves me.
I'm feeling ridiculously spoiled right now. Have I mentioned that I love, love, love my life?
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
FINALLY
I did it.
I finally got out for a run. Somehow I pictured myself running on the day of my 6-week follow-up appointment, when Dr. Arnold cleared me to exercise again. Heck, I even pictured myself cheating and running before that happened, but my schedule just never quite worked out. Until yesterday, when both of my men were sleeping, and I slipped out for a slow, agonizingly wonderful 2.5 miler. Let me just tell you, I'm still sore today, but every time a muscle twinges, I think about how great it felt to be out there again. I'm on the way back!
I imagined myself completely back in shape by now, wearing all my regular clothes, not seeing a pooch for my tummy when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror not sucking in. And Nate's been after me about the way I view myself, telling me I look amazing right now and that maybe my body won't ever be the same. Pregnancy should come with a warning label. Something like:
I finally got out for a run. Somehow I pictured myself running on the day of my 6-week follow-up appointment, when Dr. Arnold cleared me to exercise again. Heck, I even pictured myself cheating and running before that happened, but my schedule just never quite worked out. Until yesterday, when both of my men were sleeping, and I slipped out for a slow, agonizingly wonderful 2.5 miler. Let me just tell you, I'm still sore today, but every time a muscle twinges, I think about how great it felt to be out there again. I'm on the way back!
I imagined myself completely back in shape by now, wearing all my regular clothes, not seeing a pooch for my tummy when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror not sucking in. And Nate's been after me about the way I view myself, telling me I look amazing right now and that maybe my body won't ever be the same. Pregnancy should come with a warning label. Something like:
Don't expect to fit into your favorite jeans again for a loooooooong time. And be ready to cry through entire movies (the most recent being Everybody's Fine, a horribly sad piece of work) and episodes of Secret Millionaire, Extreme Home Makeover, The Biggest Loser, etc. Prepare yourself to do crazy things like quit your job when you realize that nothing could be more important than raising your babyson. Don't be surprised when you start running on a few hours of sleep at a time and going out in public without a shred of makeup. And remember that every single one of these is completely worth it.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Goals
You know, I've been really down on myself lately. Thinking about the many dreams that I had when I was younger and realizing that I haven't accomplished most of them. I have a few friends who are doing exactly what I always wanted to be doing - releasing a book, doing amazing photography, debuting an art show... All these creative ventures that I pictured for myself. And what am I doing? Well, I'm now unemployed, staying at home, trying to work out to get myself back in shape, and just plain being a mommy.
But then I realized that my own dreams have changed. Sure, I still have a few goals for myself. There's no way I could survive without my ambitions and goals. But of all my friends who are doing amazing things, none of them could make this.
But then I realized that my own dreams have changed. Sure, I still have a few goals for myself. There's no way I could survive without my ambitions and goals. But of all my friends who are doing amazing things, none of them could make this.
Working up to it
Wait for it...
Bingo. Most beautiful sight.
Now that is a great accomplishment.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Daddy's Little Cowboy
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Stinker
Well, my babyson seems to be a bit of a stinker, and highly intelligent. I know, there's no way he could have inherited either of these traits from Nathan or me...
Yesterday I asked Nate to occupy Milo for a few minutes while I finished dinner. He, of course, was extremely excited to hang out with the little guy since he'd been at work all day. Almost immediately, though, I heard crying from the living room. It lasted a minute or two, and then Nate came walking into the kitchen with Milo, who was completely content.
"Is he okay?" I asked. "Yeah, he's fine now. I sat down in the recliner and he started fussing, but he was fine as soon as I got up."
So we chatted for a few minutes, and Nate headed back to the living room. Again, the sound of fussing.
"Nate? What's going on? Everything okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine. I just sat down in the recliner again and he started crying... Wait a minute! Every time I sit down in this recliner he starts to cry..."
And that's when we figured out that our babyson is a genius. Nate only sits down with him in the recliner when he's going to rock him to sleep. Milo put two and two together and realized this, and he was just busy telling Nate that he was not ready for bed. How many 9-week olds can pick up on things like that?
On a side note, Milo also seems to think that 5 a.m. is a good time for a mommy-baby chat. He woke up ready to smile and coo this morning, and had no intention of eating or going back to sleep. I'm pretty sure we rocked in the glider for over an hour before he finally dozed off, only to wake back up again at 7. WHEW. So my child is both intelligent and social. Is it possible that he's perfect?
Yesterday I asked Nate to occupy Milo for a few minutes while I finished dinner. He, of course, was extremely excited to hang out with the little guy since he'd been at work all day. Almost immediately, though, I heard crying from the living room. It lasted a minute or two, and then Nate came walking into the kitchen with Milo, who was completely content.
"Is he okay?" I asked. "Yeah, he's fine now. I sat down in the recliner and he started fussing, but he was fine as soon as I got up."
So we chatted for a few minutes, and Nate headed back to the living room. Again, the sound of fussing.
"Nate? What's going on? Everything okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine. I just sat down in the recliner again and he started crying... Wait a minute! Every time I sit down in this recliner he starts to cry..."
And that's when we figured out that our babyson is a genius. Nate only sits down with him in the recliner when he's going to rock him to sleep. Milo put two and two together and realized this, and he was just busy telling Nate that he was not ready for bed. How many 9-week olds can pick up on things like that?
On a side note, Milo also seems to think that 5 a.m. is a good time for a mommy-baby chat. He woke up ready to smile and coo this morning, and had no intention of eating or going back to sleep. I'm pretty sure we rocked in the glider for over an hour before he finally dozed off, only to wake back up again at 7. WHEW. So my child is both intelligent and social. Is it possible that he's perfect?
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Sunshine and smiles
Today is such a lazy day, and I think the mood is contagious. The weather is absolutely gorgeous - sunshine and chilly air, and I've had the back door open all day. And instead of doing my Jillian video and working up a good sweat, I've simply been lying around reading and playing with Milo. He's a little bundle of smiley energy, and I can't resist keeping him awake a little longer than I should each time he eats, although he seems to be feeling as lazy as I am, and is completely content to just lie on his blanket so we can smile at each other. It's one of our favorite activities.
I also figured out how to bread tofu and make peanut sauce, so I stuffed myself at lunch, which is even more reason to work out, though I have yet to. Because some days simply require enjoyment, pure and simple. And since an exercise video will never take the place of delight I get from a nice, long run, I'm choosing to just do absolutely nothing. Sensible logic, right? Besides, I'm reading an old favorite - The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood - and it's such a treat that I find it hard to take a break. Even to write my blog... which is turning out to be about virtually nothing. So perhaps I should just get back to my very busy afternoon?
I also figured out how to bread tofu and make peanut sauce, so I stuffed myself at lunch, which is even more reason to work out, though I have yet to. Because some days simply require enjoyment, pure and simple. And since an exercise video will never take the place of delight I get from a nice, long run, I'm choosing to just do absolutely nothing. Sensible logic, right? Besides, I'm reading an old favorite - The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood - and it's such a treat that I find it hard to take a break. Even to write my blog... which is turning out to be about virtually nothing. So perhaps I should just get back to my very busy afternoon?
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