Friday, December 13, 2013


Remember how fantastic my little man is? Sometimes I have to remind myself, especially when he's having an off week or two like he has this past little while... He's been a little less sunshine and a little more raging tornado, but he's always my sweet peanut. So, just for fun, I thought I'd put together a few little Milo'isms.

1. Yours, hers, and thems. Milo loves a possessive pronoun. Somehow all of his have an s on the end, though. For example, "Yours car." Or "hers shoes." But my favorite is "thems." As an English teacher and lover of proper grammar, I used to cringe when he used his own made-up word. Now I just have to smile every time he tells me, "Them's house." And he even shortens it to "ems" sometimes, too. But he makes up for this with...

2. I'm doing well. If you ask him how he is, he tells you, "I'm doing well, thank you." If it's been a rough day, he'll tell you, "I'm not so well." Thank you, Milo, for being over-the-top in everything. If it's improper grammar, it's really improper. If it's good grammar, it's perfect.

3. Non-stop drama. No, that's not the phrase he uses. It's more like, "Mommy, I can't get my pants on. This is a disaster!"

4. Fores-head. As in, "Mommy, put this sticker on your fores-head." And then wear it to the grocery store or it will hurt my feelings.

5. My tummy says... Milo will hear his tummy growl and then give us the translation. Usually it goes something like, "Mommy, my tummy said," (then his voice drops into a low growl) "Let me watch Jonah!" Fill in the blank with whatever he needs right then and there. It catches me off guard and makes me laugh.

6. My Spanking Chair. Oh yes, in Milo's mind, the rocker in his room has become the spanking chair. Never mind that he also gets rocked, sang to, and cuddled in that chair. Because I tell him to go wait for me there when he needs a spanking (which, let's be honest, isn't all that often), it has become the spanking chair. Today he decorated it with about 25 stickers and was heartbroken when I told him we don't put stickers on the furniture. I guess he just wanted it to be pretty if he was going to spend any sad amount of time there.

7. I need you to read... Insert whatever book has caught his fancy right then and there. My child loves to read. Oh, how he loves to read. It makes my heart so glad. The first thirty-five times through the book...

8. Because I'm two. This is the reason for all things. Why do you like red the best? "Because I'm two." Why won't you go pee-pee in the potty? "Because I'm two." Eat your spaghetti. "I can't. Because I'm two." You get the idea.

9. Tink Top. Milo loves to wear a tank. In fact, he'd be delighted if I would let him wear a tank top, shorts, and socks every single cold day. I just can't do it, no matter how adorable it is that he calls it a tink top.

There are a plethora of things I could write, but I'm going to cut this short because Milo has decorated his floor with the above-mentioned stickers. I admire his logic, though. "Mommy, I have to put stickers on the floor because my floor is cold. When I get out of bed, I will step on the stickers and not be cold." (sigh) What do you say to that?

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