Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A few words on...

There are few words to describe the feeling of your own flesh flapping so violently against itself that you’re sore the next day…
There are few words to describe the complete lack of coordination that comes from trying to mimic land moves underwater…
There are even fewer words to describe the sense of panic that comes from feeling your top rise up and your bottoms slide down simultaneously…
You know what? Never mind. I could sum it all up in two words – aqua zumba, and per Emily's request, here's a recap of what I mean.
I tried it, all for the sake of Ann, who was home from Houston. The way her face lit up when I mentioned it left no room for backing out, even after a few other people did. So Ann, Emily, and I, the ultimate troopers, packed it up and headed to the Boys and Girls Club Monday night, covered in layers of swimsuits and clothing (most of which would stay on in the pool). We scanned the area upon entering, checking to see if anyone we knew would cause us to leave, back into the pool, or hide underwater. Lucky (?) for us, we were a part of the few under the age of 50 (I’m not hating – these older folks could work it), so we tiptoed into the frigid water and waited.
Enter our adorable, twenty-something year old instructor, a toned vision in pink and tan (pink shirt, completely tanned body, not a centimeter of which jiggled. EVER.). She gave us a little run-down of what to do (well, I say that like I knew what she was saying, as we were in the back of the pool, heard nothing, yet still nodded our heads enthusiastically as if to say, “Absolutely. Totally on board with that.”) and we began.
We shook, we ran in place, we shimmied, we aggressively kicked our legs. Hmmmm. Okay, well, that’s what our instructor did. And I was pretty sure I looked just like her, until I looked around the pool and no one was moving. I was the only one, and I was working it hardcore. How embarrassing!
Oh, wait a minute. Yes, people were moving. Forward and backward, heads slightly bobbing. And then I realized that I did not look a bit like our instructor. I, in fact, looked like I wasn’t moving at all, either, because all of my amazing moves were hidden underwater. Let’s just say it’s probably a blessing those moves were hidden, too, given the level of silliness entailed when I got home and tried a few things out in front of my mirror. How can one be a dancer for most of her life and still completely lack any Latin rhythm whatsoever? I will say, though, that bouncing one's booty underwater comes with an extra level of satisfaction, as the water helps it continue moving long after you've moved on.
Emily and I decided on the way home that aqua zumba is a great workout because you don’t feel a bit sweaty after you get out of the pool, even after an hour of your most amazing, jiggle-wiggling dance moves. I stayed in my swimsuit and tank top, although we had a few almost-scares (let’s just be honest – I almost shook myself right out of that sucker). I got schooled by a man twice my age who knew all the moves and all the words.  And I got a good lesson in humility, all the while still thinking I just might go back for round two.



  1. I'm so glad you made a post about this :) I had so much fun with you and Emily, and I hope you will guys will go back and have just as much fun!

  2. Absolutely going back for some more fat-flappin' fun!! Who wouldn't when it can inspire Kate to write THE most hilarious blog post I've EVER read??? It was worth it just for the grand story it produced!